Running with Horses

(Unedited personal journal entry originally written 1/17)

For some reason, I thought of Bible verses - those I want to memorize and those which are my favorites. Those thoughts bounced to, “Would my favorite still be my favorite now?” That verse is Jeremiah 12:5 which always gets odd looks from people when I give them that verse as my favorite or one that changed my life:

"If thou hast run with the footmen, and they have wearied thee, then how canst thou contend with horses? and if in the land of peace, wherein thou trustedst, they wearied thee, then how wilt thou do in the swelling of Jordan?" (KJV)

Jeremiah 12:5 (HCSB)

The Lord’s Response

If you have raced with runners

and they have worn you out,

how can you compete with horses?

If you stumble in a peaceful land,

what will you do in the thickets of the Jordan?

Jeremiah 12:5 (ESV)

The Lord Answers Jeremiah

“If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you,

how will you compete with horses?

And if in a safe land you are so trusting,

what will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?

What dumbstruck me was realizing that my life verse was fulfilled by chronic health issues. When I first noticed this verse, almost 20 years ago now, it made me see my spiritual life for what it was, still weak. I had grown so much even up to this point and that verse still made me feel my weaknesses. I  questioned myself: "Did I really live for Christ?, What did I risk?", and "If I can't even take spiritual risks (i.e. being a prayer warrior, speaking to many more people about my faith, knowing the Bible even better, etc..) when things are going well, then how would I do when things were going bad.?"

I remember thinking about missionaries, Martin Luther, Tindale, and just other Christians converted in hostile countries and how small and weak we are as American Christians! I am as nothing before the Lord! As I was reliving these memories, I realized that verse intensified my spiritual desires and passions and set me on a path that seriously deepened my faith and Biblical understanding! How well would I have withstood the past 15 years without the extra push to pursue the Lord all those years earlier? I relied deeply on that gained knowledge and that knowledge provided the foundation I built on during these past tortuous years! All that knowledge kept me fighting and pursuing and persevering! I knew my Lord, I knew His promises and I believed IN SPITE of what I could see and feel! 

That is the lesson of having joy in difficult/trying circumstances!

God in His omnipotent way, hit me some more, just a few hours after writing all of the above. I was reading from, "A Lamp Unto My Feet" by Elisabeth Elliot, and the content of Days 14 (The Glory of God) and 15 (A Bond Slave of Christ) was further confirmation that it's time for action on my part. God healed me so I could serve and SERVE is what I need to do, NOW! THE TIME IS NOW! (Real Life slogan). The content in its entirety:

Day 14: "When God's power is manifested in the world, in His creation or in His people, God is glorified. When we pray that our lives may glorify Him, we are asking that the self may be put down, for it is not possible to show the power of God and at the same time to glorify what George ManDonald called 'the bastard self.' We must be prepared to lose ourselves, whatever that may entail, that God may be all in all. Losing an argument for His sake, losing something we held dear, losing face, reputation, a position of power or superiority, losing a claim on someone or on his affection or respect - can these be a part of the answer to our prayer to glorify God in our lives.  Assuredly they can, for assuredly the Son Himself laid aside all such assets when He came to do the will of the Father.

'I have glorified thee on the earth' (John 17:4, KJV), He said, and that glory was manifested through weakeness, loss and suffering. What a privileged position we are called to share.

Lord, lift up our eyes, away from ourselves and our small losses, up to that glory yet to be revealed. Teach us that it is only out of weakness that we are made strong, only as we suffer that we may reign, only as we lose that we may gain." 

Day 15: "Abraham was a very wealthy man who had many servants. He himself, knowing well what makes a good servant, was a faithful and obedient servant of God.

Nowadays most of us have never had servants and therefore have almost no notion of what it means to be one. It means first of all to have a master - that is, to belong to someone else. He can do what he wants with you; you are there to do for him. You are at his disposal. It is not for you to reason why he asks something of you; it is yours only to do it. So long as you are in his service, you are not your own. (See 1 Cor. 6:20).

Abraham was a man full of faith, obedient to his Lord, readily at His command.

Master, help me to live today according to Your desires, and when I reach home may You be able to say, 'Well done , good and faithful servant' (Matt. 25:23, KJV) 

**Weakness, loss, suffering and servant-mindedness, I am wholly owned by my Lord; I am not my own anymore. I am here to serve and follow Him only.

ACTION STEP: GET SERVING IN THE CHURCH AGAIN