Freefall or Safety Net!

Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe

Christ wants me free-falling in my faith! I want a safety net! Christ wants me to live out the impossible because He gets to show off in my life and the lives of my circle of influence! In the “Impossible with Man” journal entry from “A Blossom in the Desert,” Lilias Trotter queries that isn’t Christ’s power in your life set FREE precisely as a result of “the human impossibility” of something? Why, Yes, I say to myself, she’s right! He’ll allow us to complete “the things which are possible for us to do.” I mean, Christ bestowed us with gifts, talents and a brain for a reason - to use them! Impossible challenges are Christ’s magnum opus! For me, Christ decided it was time for a spiritual bungee jump! I've bungee jumped before, over 360 feet at Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe, which was thrilling to me! This...whatever this ministry is to be about, this is free-falling without safety gear to me! I feel vulnerable and unsure, certainly not "safe" or within my comfort zone.

Bungee jumping requires more than the initial launch off the platform, if you intend to live to see another day! There are many people standing by to assist you before and after take off. Before I jumped, a man explained every step, both what he was doing as well as what I should expect once tumbling through the air! He wanted me to know how to step into the harness, how the first safety strappings worked as well as the second or back up safety straps, why you might pop blood vessels in the eyes and other consequences of the force of the drop and how they returned you back to the top of the bridge! I remember being asked why I didn't seem nervous? My practical answer was if two safety systems failed then I was meant to die that day! Fast forward from then to now.

For the past two years, my sole focus has been on everything critical to maintaining and improving upon my health: exercising, resting, relaxation and meditation and balancing my activities and schedule. All of those items are easily within my capabilities to accomplish yet it feels as if I'm barely handling any of it at all most of the time! I've never had a personal ministry before, spiritual or otherwise! New ventures disrupt the flow of routines and cause setbacks. I don't like setbacks. I like forward progress. In my zeal for progress, I began fasting this past January using the method outlined in Janis Modeste's Refocus21 program. Next thing I know, I'm writing blogs, I set up a website, I'm writing a book and I'm starting to speak publicly about my chronic health issues and how the Lord brought me through all of it! Six months ago not one of those items was on my radar! I wasn't seeking any of these things. I simply responded to the Lord's prompting to fast and pray (a prompting I had ignored for a long time) and left myself open to whatever the next step would include. Everything happened so fast, my brain still feels like it did when I swan dived off the Victoria Falls bridge with nothing but this thin ribbon sized river waiting hundreds of feet below, namely, black and blank! God just knew we'd need a brain intuitive enough to shut down when confronting a potentially life altering experience the body was never designed for - flying through empty space!

“I swear Lord, when You decide to turn on the spigot!” Those are the exact words I wrote in my journal on March 21st of this year. With the force of an epiphany, I realized the Lord quietly laid out the safety lines and harnesses for me, I just didn't see His protection until that moment. What was Christ doing? Well, Christ had been bringing people into my life perfectly tied together for such a time as this moment. I'd been praying but I guess I wasn't paying attention to the answers! Prayers He'd been answering in very unexpected ways! I imagined leading a Bible study or deeper involvement in an existing ministry, volunteer work or other way to serve the church and my community. Christ decided it was time to share my painful journey and what He did in my life with a much wider net of people and in more public forums. I imagined low profile, behind the scenes and within my comfort zone. Christ pictured public scenarios, greater discomfort and vulnerability! He answered my prayer for Christian female friendships. I prayed generically for companionship and connection. Christ answered specifically by surrounding me with numerous spiritually strong women. Women actively seeking a deeper and more intimate relationship with Him. Christ knew how quickly this personal ministry would roll out. He knew I would need immediate, deep connection, like family, so he dropped them right into my life!

Approximately nine months ago, three women’s groups materialized, two of which found me. One group was strictly a prayer group and one turned into more of a life group. I now have a tight knit circle of friends, like close family to me. True, deep friendships are a rare gem. He gave me more than I could even know to ask! As if that wasn't enough, I was awestruck when it dawned on me virtually every one of these miraculous women, like each piece of safety equipment, could play a specific role to uplift this burgeoning ministry! I've already received help with brainstorming book and artistic ideas, marketing, online, website and social media assistance, cheerleading and networking! Prayer warrior women to provide emotional and spiritual support, especially vital when Christ challenges you to walk the plank of faith! I wouldn't have known where to begin to ask for help. Christ ensured all crucial elements of support needed were right where they needed to be -walking alongside me! Every person Christ stripped out of my life so many years ago, He replaced ten fold and in His perfect timing! He knew the plans He had for my life. He knew I’d need these women before He revealed to me His new intent for this stage of my life. They were my new indispensable safety personnel and gear, surrounding me, lifting me up in prayer and talking me through each phase of my new spiritual plunge!

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever.” Ephesians 3:20-21

How true! This is where the rubber meets the road. This is faith lived out! Trusting Christ knows better than you and having faith in Him to beneficially work out your problem or your past. Lilias Trotter uses the example, in "Mountains of Difficulty", of mountain mules and how they so deftly handle "the steep difficult tracks-often on a double slope, downward and outwards towards the edge..." but they somehow stumble on the paved government roads at the base of the mountains. Take a moment and think about what she describes. Imagine yourself there on that steep mountain pass, trusting a mule's feet instead of your own while traveling along uneven paths pitched towards the mountain or cliff edge! Without hesitation, its clear that one slip of a hoof and your dead or at least severely injured without any quick access to help you! She muses that the reason for stumbling on the smooth road is "because creatures of the mountain are so at home in difficult places that they are the easiest of any to them." It is the same for Christ. She praises God that He finds "difficulties the most natural places to act in and the easiest way of approach to our souls."

Accept the truth that life lessons and seemingly insurmountable circumstances or problems are not just for your personal benefit but for others as well, other people you may never actually meet! In that moment, a teachable spirit opens within allowing deep lasting growth to begin. You will learn what you are made of as a person and as a believer. Isn’t it always those closest to you, who know you best, who can show you the errors of your ways or who tell you the enormity of the mistake you are making that demonstrate the most love for us? Truth is painful and it hurts. I can be angry or frustrated at that person but I know they are coming to me out of a place of love. Christ is that TOP person who know me best and what's best for me, make sure He is for you as well! Turn to Christ first, trust He knows what's best and step out in obedience. Each time I trust Him, He further awakens me to how miniscule of a step forward my dreams and desires are compared to the chasm I can scale with Him - not to mention the rush from watching Christ show up and show off!